Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
