I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
