Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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