I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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