Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
