Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Randomize
