After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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