just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
