the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
