I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
