If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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