i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
