I heard we made out
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
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