I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
