worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
