do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
