the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
