Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
