So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
