the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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