I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
