Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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