brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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