Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
