i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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