ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Randomize
