it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
