Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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