dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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