Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
he shaved USA in his pubs
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
