I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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