If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
It's never too late to be topless.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
