those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Randomize