I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
