i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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