I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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