I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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