You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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