And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
