I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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