I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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