summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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