your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize
