Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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