I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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