Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
