Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
