this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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