Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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