Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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