My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
