so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
