batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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