Small penises have feelings too.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
