i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
