Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
