am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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