if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
this hospital has no fireball
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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