If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
3 2 1 whiskey
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I'm really busy with my period
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