i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
