So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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