Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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